[now in Written form, for your convenience]
This is a list which is long overdue. It will be added to approximately whenever I think of a new thing. Also feel free to send in a comment if you have a rule to add to the list!
Unwritten Rules, The:
- ALWAYS notice AND comment on someone’s haircut
- even if their hair looks exactly the same as it always does, and you never look at other people anyway
- When someone asks “How are you?” it is acceptable to respond with one of the following:
- not bad
- hey! how are you?
- It is NOT acceptable to respond with
- who the hell are you?
- can’t you tell, dumbo?
- I am currently experiencing an emotional crisis
note: thankfully, this norm is breaking the in Pacific Northwest. I now consistently tell people that I’m doing terribly, and have been met with some very positive responses.
- Do NOT tell someone you’ve never met that they are damaging their child for life, even if they are damaging their child for life
- Do not play the guitar after 10:15pm, the Saxophone after 11:30pm, or the drums after 1:30am
- If you are in a boring meeting, it is unacceptable to throw paper clips into the air as a distraction and escape out the window.
- It is appropriate, however, to fall asleep at the table, but ONLY IF you bring your own blanket and pillow.
- Do not roll around on the sidewalk in front of your house or eat grass to see what it tastes like
- And why not, exactly?? There’s no good reason.