I Had the Weirdest Dream Last Night…

In all fairness, compared to the typical unusual level of my dreams, last night’s was extremely tame.

I dreamed I was going to the hospital for important surgery, but on my way to the car I decided to head back into my house to grab a notebook and some more miso soup.

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Once inside— where I was suddenly a tavern worker— I decided to help myself to the soup on the table of this husband and wife. The soup was now bean soup for some reason.

As I was leaning over their table, helping myself, the woman stood up and accused me of hitting on her husband. I was shocked. Then she just kind of disappeared, and something fell into the pot I was ladling out of.

I asked her husband where she’d gone. He said she was a witch, and was now in the soup. If she was in the main soup pot on the table I was safe, but if she’d fallen into MY soup bowl and I ate it, she would kill me by burning all the flesh off of my body.

I knew that I probably shouldn’t take the chance, but I still kind of wanted to eat it, because it was really good soup.

As I was deciding what to do my cat jumped on my face and woke me up.

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part XII]

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

Mark and Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing, they always ate scones together on Saturdays. Unfortunately, this particular scone was stale and had a slightly bitter aftertaste. What’s more, Anthony reMARKed on how the whipped cream on his hot chocolate tasted like the milk was just slightly overdone.

 

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Agatha

Two perfectly normal people having a perfectly normal conversation:

EXT. TRAIN STATION – DAY

Joe and Harry sit on a bench together, watching the trains go by. Joe eats a tuna sandwich and Harry holds a large mug full of coffee.

A train whistle sounds.

HARRY: Why does a train whistle when it’s coming into the station?

JOE: I suppose so people will know it’s there.

Harry sips his coffee.

HARRY: Kind of hard to miss.

JOE: I married Agatha on a train. We fell over a lot.

HARRY: It’s too bad that didn’t last.

JOE: But then I met Ruth.

HARRY: Things like that never do.

JOE: And we never rode the train.

HARRY: I always liked Agatha.

JOE: You mean Ruth.

HARRY: No, I mean Agatha. I love her. We’re getting married.

JOE: (looks at Harry) Where?

HARRY: In a church.

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part XI]

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

“Mark,” said Anthony, “Why do I feel so alone?”

“Beats me,” said Mark, “I feel fine.”

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part X]

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

“Anthony?” said Mark, “Are you dead?”

“Yes,” said Anthony, “But it’s alright. I live…in you.”

“But Anthony,” said Mark, “I’m dead.”

“That’s ok,” said Anthony, “You live on…in me.”

“But Anthony,” and Mark, “We can’t both live on if we’re both dead. And living on only counts if someone alive remembers you.”

“Well, that just doesn’t sound right,” said Anthony.

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part IX]

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

Mark Anthony were in love. They were also friends. The best of friends. They even went to court about it. The judge ruled them ‘The very best of friends.’

“Didn’t we start that trial to fight the injustice of sidewalk cracks with no warning signs?” asked Anthony.

“Yes. Yes we did,” said Mark.

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part VIII]

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing, Mark Anthony were similar in many ways, but also very different. Mark enjoyed a quiet day on the beach. After he did that, he turned to Anthony—who had also enjoyed a quiet day on the beach—and informed him that he believed the two of them were similar in many ways, but also very different.

Anthony agreed without the slightest hesitation. They conversed for a while longer, and then Mark said he was ready to leave. “I am too,” said Anthony.

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part VII]

note: this special post is dedicated to Any Name Here. Happy Birthday!!

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing, Mark always remembered when it was Anthony’s birthday. And Anthony always remembered to ‘mark’ the calendar for the third week in August, as that was their annual ‘Pepper-Spray Day.’ The festivities were rampant. Mark did not celebrate his birthday.

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part VI]

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

Mark Anthony were sitting together on a bench, watching the sun set. Anthony was leaning against the back-part of the bench, Mark was leaning against Anthony.

“Tell me something I don’t know, Anthony,” said Mark.

“You’re gay.”

Mark was bemused enough to lift his head.

“What?” said Mark.

“That’s right,” said Anthony.

“Oh,” said Mark. “Do I like you?”

“Yes,” said Anthony.

“Oh. Ok, then,” said Mark.

And he put his head-weight back against Anthony.

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