The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part XII]

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

Mark and Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing, they always ate scones together on Saturdays. Unfortunately, this particular scone was stale and had a slightly bitter aftertaste. What’s more, Anthony reMARKed on how the whipped cream on his hot chocolate tasted like the milk was just slightly overdone.

 

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My Latest Ingenious Idea

I’ve been feeling absolutely terrible lately! And then I realized something…

  1. I thought I had to make art in a particular way
  2. I thought I could only make art when I was inspired
  3. I thought my anxiety, depression, and indecisiveness was getting in my way

And that’s when it hit me: make art about it! If I feel like I can’t get out of bed in the morning…make a comic about it.  If I’m struggling with feelings of inadequacy, write a terrible poem about it! The worse I feel, the more likely something interesting will come out of it, and the more people will relate to it, because everyone’s just a mess pretending to be an adult with her/their/his shit together.

I know this is perhaps the most obvious idea in the world, but I’m taking full credit for it.

It turned my worst days and moments into something interesting. Unfortunately, this idea made me happy, and everyone knows you can’t make art when you’re happy, so I’m screwed.

You Can Do Art

Cultivate your love for art by investing in supplies. Specifically, paper and a pencil. Ok, so maybe a 3-D printer or a light-box would be your idea tool, but until you can afford that, go for the paper and pen(cil).

If you can’t afford paper, steal napkins from your local coffee shop. If you can’t afford pens, go to free evens and accept their complimentary pens with the company logo.

Basically, do art no matter what. And don’t let someone else tell you you’re not talented, don’t have time, or that only llamas can draw. More importantly, don’t let yourself tell you that.

Have fun!

On Poop, Carrying it with You

I realized this yesterday, when I had to double back to the park to throw away a bag of poop for the dog I had just walked.

Unwritten rule:

  • You can carry poop with you in a bag. Totally fine. Totally cool. In fact, it’s a positive thing because it means you didn’t leave poop on someone’s lawn or for someone to step in.
    • Still…hard to believe that in a society which considers pooping to be a very private activity, that it’s accepted to pick it up and carry it with you.

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part XI]

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

“Mark,” said Anthony, “Why do I feel so alone?”

“Beats me,” said Mark, “I feel fine.”

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part X]

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

“Anthony?” said Mark, “Are you dead?”

“Yes,” said Anthony, “But it’s alright. I live…in you.”

“But Anthony,” said Mark, “I’m dead.”

“That’s ok,” said Anthony, “You live on…in me.”

“But Anthony,” and Mark, “We can’t both live on if we’re both dead. And living on only counts if someone alive remembers you.”

“Well, that just doesn’t sound right,” said Anthony.

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part IX]

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

Mark Anthony were in love. They were also friends. The best of friends. They even went to court about it. The judge ruled them ‘The very best of friends.’

“Didn’t we start that trial to fight the injustice of sidewalk cracks with no warning signs?” asked Anthony.

“Yes. Yes we did,” said Mark.

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part VIII]

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing, Mark Anthony were similar in many ways, but also very different. Mark enjoyed a quiet day on the beach. After he did that, he turned to Anthony—who had also enjoyed a quiet day on the beach—and informed him that he believed the two of them were similar in many ways, but also very different.

Anthony agreed without the slightest hesitation. They conversed for a while longer, and then Mark said he was ready to leave. “I am too,” said Anthony.

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part VII]

note: this special post is dedicated to Any Name Here. Happy Birthday!!

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing, Mark always remembered when it was Anthony’s birthday. And Anthony always remembered to ‘mark’ the calendar for the third week in August, as that was their annual ‘Pepper-Spray Day.’ The festivities were rampant. Mark did not celebrate his birthday.

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part VI]

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

Mark Anthony were sitting together on a bench, watching the sun set. Anthony was leaning against the back-part of the bench, Mark was leaning against Anthony.

“Tell me something I don’t know, Anthony,” said Mark.

“You’re gay.”

Mark was bemused enough to lift his head.

“What?” said Mark.

“That’s right,” said Anthony.

“Oh,” said Mark. “Do I like you?”

“Yes,” said Anthony.

“Oh. Ok, then,” said Mark.

And he put his head-weight back against Anthony.

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part IV]

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

Mark sat on a sofa, reading his favorite book. Anthony sat across from him, reading his second-favorite book. He couldn’t read his first-favorite because Mark had it. After a while he sighed, and put his book down.

“Mark?” he asked in a forlorn tone.

“Yes?” came a reply from behind the pages.

“I’ve been feeling sad lately.”

Mark put down his book to give Anthony his full concentration.

“You talk and I’ll listen,” he said.

“That is just what I wanted,” smiled Anthony, and began his sad tale. “I was walking home yesterday and it was really cold. And it made me feel sad. Really, really sad. It also made me feel cold. Plus, I am at that point in learning to juggle when I’m getting worse rather than better.”

Mark solemnly nodded his head to socially signal he understood, but did not interrupt Anthony.

“I have so many things that I need to remember that I make list after list until I can’t remember where I put the most recent one and start doing things that became irrelevant a month ago but I never crossed off. I fear that my excessive list-making will make my memory worse, but if I don’t make them, I forget things! If there is something I must remember and I think when I get home, I’ll put that on my list, when I get home that thought has flown the coop like a lone turtle. It has also become an obsession of mine to write down trivial tasks or things I have already done just so I can cross them off.”

That being said, he leaned forward, pulled a small piece of paper out of his bag, and crossed off Talk to Mark about List-making Problem.

“Anyway,” he said, “I can’t talk anymore. I have things to do.”

“I understand,” said Mark.

The Adventures of Mark Anthony [part III]

Mark Anthony were the best of friends in many ways. For one thing…

      Cast:

MARK: Anthony’s best friend

ANTHONY: Mark’s best friend

***

Mark Anthony were the best of friends. Literally. No one was better at being friends than them. They made sure of it, because they were very competitive. Actually, only Mark was competitive. Anthony wasn’t. But they thought that was good, because they balanced each other out.

One day, Anthony was writing a short story for his class Unicorns & Disasters, but he was having trouble thinking of something to write about, except maybe Noah’s Ark. But that is used up, he thought.

Mark sensed that Anthony was struggling, so he walked over. This took a while, as Mark had been at the the local Farmers Market, and it was four miles away from Anthony’s house. He arrived out of breath—but thankfully still with purpose—for Anthony hadn’t thought of a single inspired idea the entire time.

“Anthony old pal, how can I help?”

“Well,” said Anthony, “You can help me by helping me.”

“Okay,” said Mark, “What are you writing about?”

“I don’t know,” said Anthony, “That’s the issue.”

“Hear me out…” said Mark, “What if…it was NOT an issue?”

“Good plan,” said Anthony, and set to work straight away. He wrote about how Unicorns are almost certain to be a cause of Disaster because of those silly pokey-things sticking out of their heads.

If you see a Unicorn, Anthony concluded, do not run straight towards it.

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